


open hearts and open arms

by artenon



Series: let's meet again in the next life [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Domesticity, Found Family, M/M, POV Alternating, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 09:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17805038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artenon/pseuds/artenon
Summary: Saïx doesn’t expect forgiveness, and he definitely doesn’t expect a family. In open hearts and open arms, he finds both.





	open hearts and open arms

**Author's Note:**

> catch me crying forever about sea-salt family!! this fic is 100% pure self-indulgent sappiness but in my defense, kh3 validated my favorite quartet and made it real so thank you for that, kh3
> 
> thank you to my beta crew for also validating my self-indulgence LOL - [sarah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailurea), [faia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faiasakura), and [cai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacktreecle), as well as [carith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabrega) for giving it an extra read-over!

It felt as if he’d barely just woken up on the floor of the old lab before Lea barreled into the castle, loud and frantic.

“Did he come back? Is he here?—” And then Lea saw him and sagged to the floor with a whimper.

Honestly. Lea’s eyes were red-rimmed, and he’d doubtless already cried earlier, probably upon being reunited with Roxas and Xion, who were standing just behind him. If he’d already spent his tears on them, he shouldn’t have any to spare for someone less deserving.

Lea sniffled inelegantly. “You’re okay.”

“Of course I am,” he said. “You really must stop crying.” He swallowed down the lump in his own throat.

“Shut up. I’m just…”

Roxas and Xion stepped forward to stand on either side of Lea. They both looked wary; he didn’t blame them.

“Saïx,” Roxas said. “Or… Isa?”

He blinked. “I don’t know,” he said, “who I am anymore. I don’t know… if I can go back to being Isa.”

Lea inhaled sharply. Roxas shifted in front of him, but Lea stood and shouldered past him.

“Isa,” he said. “Please. It’s over.”

“I know. But it’s been so long. So much has happened. I’ve… I can’t wipe that slate clean.” He pressed his fingertips to his face, ran them over the scars and the corners of his eyes that had used to burn with darkness. “I’m not Isa anymore.”

He dropped his hand and looked at Lea, prepared to accept his judgment.

Lea stared at him. Then a smile broke over his face and he slung his arms around him.

“That’s it? You wanna be called Saïx? Why didn’t you just say so instead of being all cryptic and scaring the shit out of me?”

“I…” He trailed off with a frown. It felt foolish to admit that he hadn’t known that was what he wanted until Lea said it. He rested his hands gingerly on Lea’s back. The embrace felt like a privilege he hadn’t yet earned.

Lea pulled back and swiped a stray tear from his eye. “With me, I guess I’m not really attached either way? I mean, I tried Lea, but it didn’t really stick, so I guess I’m back to Axel now.”

“I see,” Saïx said.

He looked past Axel to Roxas and Xion and wondered if Axel had wanted to keep the name they were familiar with. The choice was upon Axel now, his new best friends or his old one, and Saïx suspected he knew who he would choose. He wasn’t surprised by the flare of jealousy, but he was surprised by the entirely different flood of hurt that accompanied it.

He walked up to them and looked at Xion more closely. Her hood had come down during the fight in the Keyblade Graveyard, when her heart and memories had returned to her, but he hadn’t gotten a good look then. Now he could see the fall of her black hair, the way it framed her soft face. Her blue eyes were so much like Roxas’s, and yet there was something different about them because—because she wasn’t Roxas.

She wasn’t Roxas, she wasn’t Sora, and she wasn’t a blank-faced puppet.

She was Xion, and she was real.

“Xion,” he said.

Roxas raised a protective arm across her chest, and a wave of shame rose within Saïx even as Xion rested a hand on Roxas’s arm and shook her head.

“Xion,” Saïx said again. “Roxas. I am so sorry.”

Roxas dropped his arm. His lips parted, then closed, and his brows furrowed like he was confused. Xion stared at him with wide eyes.

“Whoa,” Axel whispered from behind him, and Saïx knew that if the mood were any lighter he would be teasing him about apologizing for the first time in his life, but the air was heavy and Saïx hadn’t felt so genuine in a long, long time.

Before, when he’d been recompleted the first time, in the minutes that he’d had his heart again before Xemnas had ordered him back to his side, he’d looked upon Axel’s prone form and he’d known what he had to do. Even if it meant casting aside his heart again.

Now here he stood, fully restored and with emotions untethered, in front of the people he’d worked to save, and he found that he was profoundly relieved—profoundly relieved, and profoundly sorry.

“I don’t expect forgiveness,” he said. “I know I was cruel. I know I hurt you. You may hate me and wish to never see me again. I understand. But I am truly sorry for everything I did, and if the two of you wish to stay with Axel, if Axel wishes to stay with you... I won’t stand in the way.”

“Wait—” Axel said, but then Xion rushed forward and threw her arms around Saïx’s midsection.

“Xion!” Roxas reached out a hand, but then his fingers curled into a loose fist and he didn’t move to stop her.

“It’s okay,” Xion said. “It’s okay, Saïx. Don’t go.”

Saïx’s heart stuttered, then constricted. His arms hovered far above Xion. He was unsure what to do or what to say, uncomprehending of her words and actions.

Roxas stepped forward, mouth set. He wrapped one arm around Xion’s back and rested the other around Saïx, just above Xion’s arm.

“She’s right,” he said. “Axel would be sad.”

“For his sake, you would forgive me?” It seemed too much to ask. He’d have been content with the happiness they had found together, even if he wouldn’t have been a part of it.

“I forgive you,” Xion said. “For your sake.”

“....mngh,” Roxas said. He evidently wasn’t in the same boat. Saïx would almost chuckle if not for the mounting wave in his chest. He was drowning in it. He couldn’t breathe.

A pair of warm arms wrapped around him from behind, and Axel pressed his face into the junction of Saïx’s neck and shoulder.

“Don’t go, Saïx,” he whispered. “Not when we’re finally home.”

It was the small kiss that Axel pressed to his skin, soft and secret, that broke him. Saïx wouldn’t have been able to stop the tears from spilling out if he wanted to. The sob tore out of him, broken and ugly, and he sank to the ground in a pile of arms. Axel was behind him, so he wrapped his arms around Roxas and Xion instead and squeezed tight as another gasping sob left him. He couldn’t stop, and his lungs scrabbled for breath in the deluge.

“Look who’s crying now,” Axel said, but there was a tell-tale waver in his voice and dampness pooling on Saïx’s skin.

“I,” Saïx said. He drew in a breath. “I’ve missed you. And…” Each word was a struggle. He paused and stroked his fingers through Xion’s hair. She shuddered, and he suspected that she, too, was close to tears. Though why she might cry for him, he didn’t know.

He hadn’t expected their forgiveness, but they had given it to him anyway. He was going to have to work hard if he wanted to ever feel like he deserved it.

He leaned back into Axel and held Roxas and Xion close.

“And… thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

They made it all the way to Twilight Town and their temporary accommodations at a hotel in Sunset Terrace before Xion realized that they would all need a change of clothes. It wasn’t her fault; she’d never had a life outside of the Organization and had only ever worn its cloak. Roxas, too.

Xion poked Axel. “Shouldn’t you have known?”

Axel scratched the back of his head. “Guess I forgot all about it. I actually got some new clothes from Yen Sid a while ago, but I never even tried them on.”

“Really?” Saïx said. “I would have thought you would jump for joy to be rid of the cloak. You always called yourself a fashionista when we were younger.”

Axel made a startled noise, and his face went red. “Hey, cut that out! You can’t tell them my embarrassing teenage shit.”

Xion only wished she could have seen that. She and Roxas laughed. When she looked up, she caught the smile on Saïx’s face.

It was strange; he used to scare her, but there was a gentleness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Because they were an earthy green now, and not a cold yellow? No, it couldn’t be just that. It was something in the way he held himself more easily, the small smiles that would flicker across his face every now and then.

She’d never considered it before, but being in the Organization must have taken a harsh toll on him, too.

“Anyway, we can just go buy clothes now, no big deal,” Axel said. “I’m sure there’s a store nearby.”

They asked the hotel receptionist, and one tram ride later they were at a fashion retail store.

The moment they set foot inside, Axel said, “Ooh, there first!” and bolted deeper into the store.

“I knew it,” Saïx said.

Roxas trailed after Axel without saying anything, and Saïx sighed. Xion looked over and her heart ached at the way his mouth turned down.

She touched his arm. “Give him time. He’ll come around to you.”

“You baffle me,” he said. “I was far worse to you than I ever was to him. How is it that you can forgive me so easily?”

“I don’t know,” she said.

Honestly, she didn’t. He’d terrified her. He’d belittled her. But it wasn’t like she had a problem with the fact that she felt no resentment towards him.

“Maybe because I know I was created, and why I was created,” she said. “Riku filled in a lot for me. And… You did promise to help me.”

It hadn’t been all that long ago that she was still a heartless replica without any memories, made again in desperation to fill the Organization’s ranks. She hadn’t understood, at the time, a lot of what he’d said, but he’d told her that he would get her out. He’d asked her to trust him. She hadn’t known better but to simply accept what he’d said then, but now with her heart and memories returned, she didn’t trust him any less.

“One favor cannot be recompense for everything that I did,” Saïx said.

“I’d say it was a lot more than one favor,” she said. “You put your neck on the line, for me and Roxas both. But Roxas, um.” She giggled, a little helplessly. “He feels more than he thinks. He doesn’t listen to reason when he gets worked up. And you made him _really_ angry, before.”

“No wonder he befriended Axel; those two are just the same,” Saïx said.

“They are, aren’t they?” Xion clasped her hands behind her back and smiled as she thought of them. Her best friends. She hadn’t ever imagined that Saïx might be her friend too, but somehow the notion didn’t seem nearly so strange now.

“Well, let’s not linger at the storefront, or Axel will complain about how long we’re taking,” Saïx said. “We should find something for you.”

“Okay!”

Xion took the lead. She’d been excited for this, the first tangible mark of her new life, but as she tried to take her time combing through the racks she quickly became overwhelmed by all the options surrounding her.

“There are so many styles and colors,” she said. “How will I ever pick?”

“How about this?”

She turned. Saïx was holding a dress. It was black, with two columns of buttons and a belt wrapped around the midsection, and it had frilled sleeves and a layer of pleated white fabric at the end of the skirt.

“Oh, it’s so pretty,” she said. She took the dress into her hands. It was simple but cute, and she could imagine herself wearing it instantly. “Where did you find it?”

“I went ahead while you were busy looking at the same shirt ten times.” He said it matter-of-fact, but a teasing smirk tugged at his lip.

Xion blushed. Okay, maybe she didn’t have to look through every individual article of clothing, but what if she found something she liked with a different design hidden behind a set of clothes? She had to make sure.

She draped the dress over her forearm and brought her arms to her chest, defensive. “I was being thorough,” she said, and cringed when Saïx’s smirked widened at her feeble comeback. “Never mind.”

An arm slung across her shoulders. “Hey there, slowpokes,” Axel said, and Xion silently thanked his good timing.

She turned, and Axel dropped his arm and took a step back, spreading his hands at his sides as if presenting his new outfit.

“Very nice,” she said, taking in the long plaid button-down and black hooded vest.

She looked at Roxas next, who stood beside Axel in a zippered black shirt and white jacket with checkered patterns.

“Isn’t that—” Saïx started.

“The same outfit Ansem put Roxas in when he hid him in fake Twilight Town?” Axel said. “I know. Don’t blame me, I tried to pick something out for him but he saw the entire outfit on a mannequin and went straight for it.”

“I’m used to it,” Roxas said.

“Okay, but do you like it?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Xion frowned. Roxas had been a little tense since arriving in Twilight Town, and she hoped he was alright. Maybe he was just nervous about seeing Hayner, Pence, and Olette, even though Ienzo said they were all looking forward to meeting him.

“You don’t know if you like it or not?” Axel said. “Seriously?”

“Don’t overwhelm him,” Saïx said.

“Okay, okay, but this is temporary.” Axel waved his hand up and down Roxas’s figure. “I won’t let you off so easy next time.”

Xion giggled. “Saïx was right, _fashionista_. Why’d you wait so long to get new clothes?”

“Oh, uh…”

Axel rubbed the back of his head, and Roxas nudged him with his elbow, apparently back to normal now that the attention was off him. “What’s wrong? Embarrassed?”

“Ugh, fine,” Axel said. “To tell the truth… Abandoning the cloak kinda felt like I was moving on without you guys? Like it was my last connection to you? I just wanted to wait until we were together again.”

“Oh,” Xion said, the tears welling up. “That’s…”

“Utterly ridiculous,” Saïx said.

“So sweet!” Xion tackled Axel.

Roxas punched Axel’s arm. “Aww, you big softy!”

“Ow! Come on,” he said. “You guys are way too much.” He patted Xion’s head before gently pushing her away. “Anyway, you’ll let me pick out clothes for you, right, Xion?”

“Oh. Actually…” She looked at the dress still draped over her arm, then to where Saïx stood with his arms crossed and a small smile curling on his lips at their antics. “Saïx already helped me pick something out, and I want to keep it.”

She smiled at him, ignoring Axel’s, “Whaaat, seriously?” and took Saïx’s wrist.

“Come on,” she said. “It’s my turn to pick something for you!”

She tugged, and Saïx followed easily.

 

* * *

 

 

Axel looked at Saïx, sighed, tapped around the different apps on his Gummiphone, looked back at Saïx, and sighed again.

“What?” The word barely felt like acknowledgment; Saïx didn’t even look over, just stayed bent over the desk in their hotel room, writing something in a notebook.

“‘What,’ what?” Axel said.

Ugh. Real clever.

Somehow, Saïx let the graceless retort slide. “You keep sighing. What’s wrong?”

Yeah. What _was_ wrong? Everything should be fine and good now, so why was Axel still uneasy?

Maybe it was because the two of them were alone for the first time since they’d reunited. Roxas and Xion were out meeting Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and Axel and Saïx had decided to stay behind. Which meant that Axel was thinking about—well, them.

“I don’t know. Like... I get all three of you, no catch?” Axel slouched over on the bed and dug his elbow into his leg, resting his chin in his hand. He thought of how hard he’d fought to hold everything together—how hard he’d fought, and how he’d still failed. Xion disappeared, then Roxas, and he’d messed up with Saïx long before that. “I didn’t think I could get this lucky.”

Saïx hummed. “There’s still the matter of where we’ll ultimately choose to stay.”

True enough. Roxas might want to stay in Twilight Town with his friends. Axel supposed he’d be okay with that, except the perpetual sunset in this world made him sleepy all the time. And he did want to go back to Radiant Garden again to at least see how the town was doing. Riku had also told them they were welcome to stay at the Destiny Islands, if that was what they wanted.

So, they’d have to talk about it. But deciding where to live was a small obstacle to work through, all things considered.

But Saïx wasn’t done. “And if the four of us will really remain together.”

Axel straightened up in alarm. “Wait, what do you mean, if? I thought we agreed.”

“For now,” Saïx said. He stood from the desk and turned to lean back against it with his arms crossed. “Roxas still isn’t very fond of me. If I should leave—”

“He’ll get over it,” Axel said. “Come on, Saïx. We’re together again. I don’t wanna—I can’t lose this again.”

“‘This’?”

“Any of you.”

Saïx frowned, and Axel flopped back onto the bed with a groan.

A few moments later, the bed dipped as Saïx sat at the edge beside him. Axel reached out blindly until his fingers caught on the back of his shirt. He closed his hand around the fabric and tugged Saïx to lie down beside him.

He stared at the ceiling. “You know how you admitted you were jealous?”

It was funny; he could practically hear Saïx’s silence, his reluctance to talk, the grit of his teeth. Maybe even some embarrassment.

“I know, I know. I won’t get it out of you a second time. Well, fine. You don’t have to talk about it, but I want to. S’that okay?”

He turned his head to look at Saïx. Saïx’s head was just barely tilted in his direction, and Axel’s stomach jumped at the way the sunset-orange light flowing through the window illuminated his face and reflected off his clear green eyes.

Saïx blinked, infuriatingly oblivious to how pretty he looked just now, and said, “Very well.”

“Uh.” Axel had almost forgotten what he’d been saying. “Right. Well. I just wanted to say that I don’t want you to feel that way anymore. Roxas and Xion are my best friends, but you are, too. Always have been. So don’t… don’t talk about leaving.”

Saïx turned to face him more fully. The softness of his gaze and the way his hair nestled against his cheek made him even more beautiful. It shouldn’t be allowed.

“Thank you,” he said.

Seriously not allowed.

“Fuck,” Axel said. “Let me kiss you already.”

Wait. _Fuck._

Saïx arched an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware I’d been prohibiting you.”

“Oh, shut up,” Axel said, and leaned forward.

Something in Axel slid into place when their lips met. It felt like coming home. He pulled Saïx into his arms, tangled his fingers in his hair and kissed him deep and slow. When they parted, Saïx nuzzled and kissed his cheek, and Axel melted. It’d been literal years since he’d last held an affectionate Saïx in his arms.

Axel petted his hair. “I wasn’t sure you still…”

“Loved you?” Saïx mouthed the words into his skin between kisses.

“Okay,” Axel said, and tried to pull away, but Saïx clamped his arms around him.

“Running away?” He pulled back and smirked.

Axel looked past him at the wall and tried to will the blush away. “No.”

“That’s good,” Saïx said. “Because I do still love you.”

Axel adamantly refused to re-establish eye contact. “Are you sure you got your heart back? Because I don’t know how you’re not feeling any embarrassment stopping you from saying embarrassing things.”

Saïx chuckled, soft and low. “Perhaps I find myself wanting to make up for lost time.”

Or _perhaps_ he just wanted to torment him, because he just might combust if Saïx kept this up. Still, Axel wasn’t going to back down now, dammit.

“Fine.” He looked back at Saïx. “Iloveyoutoo.”

“Hm?”

“I love you too,” he mumbled.

“I didn’t quite—”

“I love you too!”

Axel scowled at Saïx’s smirk, but when it softened into a smile, Axel sent a crooked one back. He intertwined their fingers and his heart pounded like they were teenagers confessing all over again.

His stomach clenched. They couldn’t go back to those days. They both knew that; Saïx felt like he couldn’t even be called Isa anymore, so much had changed. But despite everything, Axel’s feelings for him had remained a blazing constant and he hoped that this, at least, he could keep.

“Stay with me,” he said, seized by a desperate urge to make it real.

“Of course,” Saïx said.

Of course. As if there was never any doubt. As if he hadn’t just suggested leaving. But in the simple answer, Axel remembered how quietly loyal Saïx had always been when they were younger, and maybe that hadn’t changed, either. They’d just gotten lost on the way.

Come to think of it, Axel wasn’t sure if Saïx had any preference for where they ended up. As in, physically living.

“Do you wanna go back home?” he said. “To Radiant Garden.”

Saïx nuzzled his neck. “My home is with you.”

Fuuuck. Axel was going to have to work overtime to recondition himself to not immediately die every time Saïx said something sweet. But for now, well, that answer was good with him.

 

* * *

 

 

The view from the clocktower was familiar in an aching sort of way. It was the space Roxas shared with the most important people in his life, but who were they?

Axel and Xion, of course.

But what about Hayner, Pence, and Olette?

“I suspected you’d be here.”

Roxas startled and turned as Saïx lowered himself beside him and swung his legs over the edge of the tower. He had two sea-salt ice creams in his hand, and he offered one to Roxas.

Roxas didn’t take it. “What, I can’t go out without your permission?”

Saïx’s impassive expression didn’t waver. “I didn’t say that. However, you shouldn’t go out in the middle of the night without at least leaving a note. Don’t you know Axel is afraid you might disappear again?”

“Oh.” Guilt washed away Roxas’s petty annoyance. “No, I… I didn’t know. Is he awake right now?”

“He isn’t. But I can see it in the way he watches you, both of you. Like he’s afraid to look away.”

Saïx twitched his wrist, still holding the ice cream out, and this time Roxas took it. He gave it a tentative lick, but it was as delicious as it always was. And why wouldn’t it be? Of course sea-salt ice cream would taste the same whether it was from Axel or Saïx.

It was just weird to get it from Saïx.

Roxas turned away and looked to the eternal sunset on the horizon. “I didn’t even realize it was midnight.”

He watched in his periphery as Saïx followed his gaze.

“Yes,” Saïx said. “The only proof that time passes in this world is the people who live in it.”

“And a clock that regiments the day,” Roxas said.

“I can see why you liked this place. Here you could be together, unchanging.”

“Uh, I think Axel just liked it because he could get sea-salt ice cream.”

Saïx laughed lightly. Also weird, coming from him.

“Yes,” Saïx said. “Maybe it is that simple.” He bit into his ice cream. “The three of you would come here every day? To just… eat ice cream and talk?”

“Yeah,” Roxas said. “Well, whenever we got the chance. We’d talk about our missions and whatever. Complained about you a lot.”

He snuck a glance to check Saïx’s reaction. He didn’t seem upset. He was smiling a little, in a way that didn’t reach his eyes.

“I can’t excuse how I behaved in the past,” he said. “Only promise that I won’t be that way anymore. And I understand if that’s not enough for you.”

Roxas hadn’t expected that. He’d figured, after Saïx’s initial apology, that he would leave it to rest. Let everyone else figure out their strange new dynamic of four instead of three.

It was hard to forget how Saïx had treated him when they were in the Organization. The way Axel and Xion acted now, it was as if every time Saïx had called Xion defective, every time he’d made Roxas feel worthless, none of it mattered anymore. He didn’t know how they were both so ready to accept Saïx.

But he had to admit that he’d been different since coming back. He was quiet—well, he’d always been quiet, but he was quiet in a gentler way now. He would linger back sometimes, when it was Axel and Roxas and Xion, like he didn’t want to intrude.

Roxas thought back to a couple days ago, when Axel asked him to please be nicer to Saïx before he left out of some sense of atonement. Roxas had thought Saïx had only helped him and Xion for Axel, but if he was willing to leave Axel’s side for Roxas’s sake, then maybe there was something more to it.

And after all, hadn’t he sought Roxas out tonight and patiently endured his spite?

Maybe it was Roxas’s turn to put in an effort.

He sighed. “You made sure Ienzo got the replica for my body, right? He told me. I guess I should thank you for that.”

“I suppose I should accept your thanks, then.”

“Hey. I’m trying to be nice here,” Roxas said, but he couldn’t help but smile.

It was a little easier to talk now, between bites of ice cream. Maybe because it was habit, coming here and sharing ice cream and conversation. He could talk about anything with Axel and Xion.

At least, he’d thought he could talk about anything with them, but then everything had started to fall apart. Xion and Axel both kept secrets from him, and Roxas hadn’t known who to trust.

And then he’d been alone.

And then…

“Do you still keep a diary?” Saïx asked.

“Huh?”

“I suggested you keep a diary when you were in the Organization. Do you still write in one?”

“Oh. Er… no.”

“Perhaps you should consider it,” Saïx said. “It’s helpful for when you don’t know who to talk to, or if you’re not sure how to say what’s wrong.”

“Wait, you have one too?”

Roxas was taken aback. Saïx was clearly talking from experience, and maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising, but it was strange to imagine him spilling confessions on paper. Strange to imagine that he might feel as lost and alone as Roxas sometimes.

“Yes,” Saïx said. “It was… hard, in the beginning. When we became Nobodies. Axel and I made a plan, and he helped me rise to become Xemnas’s second, but we couldn’t talk much for fear that our subterfuge might be discovered. Perhaps that’s when I began to lose him. Not because of you.”

He didn’t sound bitter, just thoughtful and a little sad.

Roxas chewed on his ice cream stick. Saïx had just confided a lot more than Roxas had ever expected. Maybe that meant he should return the favor—tell him how conflicted he was feeling. How Hayner, Pence, and Olette were really nice, but he couldn’t shake the fact that his old life with them had been a lie constructed by Ansem. How he wished he could get to know them without his chest aching with the false belief that they’d been friends for years.

But he didn’t know how to even begin talking about it. Not with Saïx, maybe not even with Axel or Xion. But that was okay, right? Saïx was telling him that it was okay.

“I think a diary is a good idea,” he said. “Thank you, Saïx.”

Saïx’s smile, surprised but pleased, was also weird to see, but Roxas thought he could get used to it.

 

* * *

 

 

Saïx tapped his pen against the kitchen table. “Alright, how do you find the vertical asymptotes of a function?”

Roxas dropped his face into the open textbook laying flat on the table. “Ughhh.”

Xion patted his back. “Come on, Roxas, it’s not that bad.”

“Math sucks,” Roxas said.

“You got that right.” Axel turned around and waved his ladle in front of him. A bit of food flung onto the floor; he frowned and wiped the ladle against his gingham apron before saying, “Math is the worst.”

“Aren’t you cooking?” Saïx looked past Axel to the pot bubbling on the stove.

“Yeah, but you can’t just expect me to ignore Roxas’s cry of distress.”

“Don’t discourage his education,” Saïx said.

In the few months that they’d been living in Radiant Garden, Roxas and Xion had enrolled in an academy funded by Ansem and Axel had commented no less than twelve times that they were guardians of light and had saved the worlds and should therefore be exempt from school. Saïx had glared him down each time.

He narrowed his eyes preemptively now and said, “It’s just vertical asymptotes. Hardly cause for distress.”

“‘Just vertical asymptotes,’” Axel and Roxas said at the same time.

Xion giggled.

Roxas groaned. “There’s too many different rules and stuff. Why does it have to be so complicated?”

“Umm, vertical asymptotes.” Xion scratched her head. “It’s where…”

“It’s where the denominator equals zero,” Axel said.

Saïx doubled down on his glare at Axel for not letting Roxas and Xion figure it out themselves with help in the form of leading questions.

Axel ignored him.

“Ohh, right. So then…” Roxas squinted at the problem in the textbook.

“I thought you hated math?” Xion asked Axel.

“Well hey, doesn’t mean I’m not good at it.”

Axel crossed his arms, smug, and leaned back—right against the stove.

There was some lag time between Saïx’s brain and his mouth. Possibly he was struck speechless by the degree of Axel’s foolishness.

Whatever the case, his “Watch out!” came too late. Axel bumped against the pot, which skidded backwards on the stove, and the loose string of his apron tie swayed into the burner and caught aflame.

Chairs clattered to the floor as Saïx, Roxas, and Xion all leapt to their feet, but it was Xion who threw her hand out and cried, “ _Waterga_!”

A deluge of water flooded the kitchen, putting out the fire and soaking everyone and everything in the room.

“Ack—Xion!” Axel coughed. “Just _water_ would have been fine!”

“Sorry! I panicked!”

“Do you think _firaga_ will evaporate it?” Roxas asked.

Axel rounded on him. “Don’t even try.”

“I’m _really_ sorry!”

“It’s okay, Xion, just—geez—”

“Hey, good reaction time though,” Roxas said.

“Haha!”

Saïx clapped his hand over his mouth as everyone turned to look at him, but it did little to keep him from dissolving into laughter. He turned away, glanced back, and lost it again at their stares. Axel and Roxas’s drenched hair sagged and clung to their faces and Xion looked so frantic still, and it was just so _funny_.

These three. His family.

He inhaled deeply as he collected himself. He hadn’t laughed that hard in… a very, very long time.

“I love you,” he said.

It wasn’t something he’d said before, not to all of them. Only to Axel, in private moments. He hadn’t expected this, hadn’t expected that Roxas and Xion would come to accept him so wholeheartedly into their lives, and that he in turn would care for them so deeply and genuinely.

Axel looked at him so tenderly, Saïx’s chest ached.

“I love you, too,” Axel said.

“I love you!” Xion smiled brightly at them.

They all looked at Roxas. His shoulders jumped up to his ears and red crept up his face.

“I… I’m not good at knowing what I want,” he said, “but I’m good at knowing who I want. And who I want is all of you guys.”

“Wow, Roxas, I think that may have been sappier than just saying ‘I love you,’” Axel said.

“Shut up,” Roxas said. He turned his head away, lower lip jutting out, but spread his arms, and they all came in for a group hug.

It was a soaking wet huddle of a hug. The chill was seeping in and all the arms pressing his wet clothes into his skin should have been uncomfortable, but Saïx, nestled warmly in open hearts and open arms, closed his eyes and felt content.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! <3
> 
> / [twitter](https://twitter.com/qorktree)


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